What If My Kids Won’t Cooperate During Family Photos?

QUICK ANSWER: If you’re worried your kids won’t cooperate during family photos, the most important thing to know is that they don’t need to sit still, look at the camera, or smile on command for us to create beautiful images.

---

After more than 20 years of photographing children and families, I can tell you that I’ve seen all of it!

And I’m really not worried.

My sessions are very play based. I expect kids to move, explore, cuddle with their parents, play games, and sometimes have their own ideas about how the session should go. I work with that rather than against it.

We’ll still try for that classic family portrait where everyone is looking at the camera, but some of my favorite images happen while your children are simply being themselves.

If there’s one thing parents worry about before family photos, it’s this:

“What if my kids won’t cooperate during family photos?”

Maybe your toddler never sits still. Maybe your preschooler suddenly decides they want nothing to do with having their picture taken. Maybe you’re worried your child will be shy, refuse to smile, or spend the entire session running in the opposite direction.

All of that might happen during our session together, and we’re still going to get beautiful photos!

---

---

Your Kids Don’t Have to “Behave” for Beautiful Family Photos

I think sometimes we have an unrealistic idea of what children are supposed to do during professional family photos. In fact, when parents tell me they’re worried their kids won’t cooperate during family photos, it usually means they’re worried their children won’t stand still, look at the camera, and smile on command.

Stand here. Look at the camera. Smile. Don’t move.

But that’s really not how I photograph families.

If your two year old wants to run down the beach, we can work with that. If your child doesn’t want to stand by themselves, I’ll have you hold them. If they don’t want to look at my camera, we’ll play a game instead.

I want your photographs to capture what your family feels like, not what your children look like when they’re trying really hard to follow instructions from an adult they just met.

---

Daniele’s Tip: The best thing you can do during your family session is relax and enjoy your children!

---

You don’t need to worry about whether they’re behaving properly for me. I’ve been photographing children for more than 20 years, and I have kids of my own. I know how to read them, when to change directions, and when it’s time to pull a lollipop out of my bag.

Your job is just to enjoy being with your family. I’ll worry about the pictures.

I’ve Been Photographing Kids for More Than 20 Years

One of the biggest advantages of experience is that very little surprises me anymore.

I’ve photographed shy kids, silly kids, wild toddlers, serious kids, kids who love the camera, and kids who would rather be doing almost anything else.

I also have children of my own, so I understand how different kids can be at every stage.

When I can tell something isn’t working, I change what we’re doing.

We might play peekaboo or hide and seek. We might play Ring Around the Rosie. I might ask your child to whisper something silly into Mom’s ear and see if they can make her laugh.

There’s a reason play works so well with young children. The American Academy of Pediatrics talks about the importance of play for helping children manage emotions, cope with stress, and connect with their parents. That’s exactly why I’d much rather turn your family session into a game than spend 45 minutes asking your kids to sit still and smile.

Sometimes I’ll have a toddler snuggle into a parent instead of trying to photograph them alone. And yes, sometimes, with Mom or Dad’s permission, a little bribery is exactly what we need.

There’s a reason I keep a stash of lollipops with me.

What If My Child Is Shy During Family Photos?

I approach a shy child very differently than I approach a child who arrives ready to run down the beach.

If your child is shy, I’m not going to start the session by separating them from you and asking them to perform for a stranger with a camera.

We’ll start together.

I might have your whole family cuddle up, or I’ll have your child stay in Mom or Dad’s arms. We can play little whispering games or give them something fun to do while they’re physically close to the people who make them feel safest.

It gives them time to get used to me and to the camera without putting pressure on them.

Once they start to warm up, we can gradually do more.

There’s no rush.

Family Photos With Toddlers Are Supposed to Be Playful

Two and three year olds are probably the age group parents worry about most.

They’re also one of the age groups I’ve photographed the most.

With toddlers, I usually work pretty quickly. A session with a two or three year old may only need 30 to 45 minutes because they simply don’t have the staying power for a long photo session.

And that’s completely fine.

I can usually tell when a toddler is getting close to the end of their useful window, so I make sure we get what we need before we reach that point.

We’ll play peekaboo, hide and seek, Ring Around the Rosie, cuddle with Mom and Dad, explore our location, and be silly.

I also bring little toys and rattles that can help me get their attention when I want a few photographs looking toward the camera.

Will there probably be more candid photographs than perfectly posed ones?

Yes.

But if you hired me because you love the natural, connected images you see in my portfolio, that’s probably exactly what you want anyway.

---

Yes, I’ll Still Get the Christmas Card Photo

Just because I love candid family photography doesn’t mean we’re skipping the photograph where everyone looks at the camera.

I know you want that one, too.

I almost always get at least a few photographs where everyone is looking at me and smiling.

Then we can move on.

The images that tend to mean the most are often the ones that happen afterward. Your child laughing as Dad throws them into the air. A toddler wrapping their arms around Mom. Siblings running down the beach together.

Those are the photographs that tell me something about your family.

But yes, we’ll get Grandma her looking at the camera photo too.

---

What Should You Do If Your Kids Aren’t Cooperating?

This might be the most important thing I can tell you:

Please don’t discipline them for me.

Of course, you’re still the parent, and if there is a safety or behavioral issue that needs to be addressed, that’s different.

But if your child simply isn’t standing where we want them to stand or smiling when we want them to smile, don’t worry about it.

Disciplining a child because they aren’t “cooperating” can change the entire mood of a session. Suddenly something that felt like playing becomes something they’re in trouble for.

We don’t need that.

Let me redirect them.

I have lots of tricks, games, and ways of changing what we’re doing. Sometimes I’ll abandon an idea completely and come back to it ten minutes later.

Your child isn’t doing anything wrong.

They’re being a kid.

---

How to Prepare Your Kids for Family Photos

There are a few simple things you can do before your session that make everything easier.

Make sure little ones have had their usual nap and aren’t arriving hungry. Try not to overschedule the day if you can help it.

But one of the biggest things is simply how you talk about the session.

Instead of telling your children that they need to behave, smile, or listen to the photographer, tell them:

“We’re going to go play with Miss Daniele and take some pictures!”

That’s really all they need to know.

And even if you’re stressed because someone spilled something on their outfit, you left the house ten minutes late, and getting everyone dressed was a production, try not to let the kids feel that stress.

As far as they’re concerned, you’re all heading out for a fun family adventure.

---

If getting everyone dressed is the part that’s stressing you out, my fall family photo outfit guide can help!

---

What If the Session Feels Completely Chaotic?

This happens more often than you might think.

At the end of a session, parents will sometimes look at me and say something along the lines of:

“Did we get anything?”

And I already know we did.

I won’t end a session until I know I have enough beautiful images to fill your gallery.

The thing parents sometimes forget is that a photograph captures a tiny fraction of a second.

Your child can be wiggling, running around, being silly, refusing to stand still, and somewhere in between all of that is the split second when they look at you and smile.

I see those moments.

And I catch them.

That’s one of the things that comes from photographing children for so many years. I don’t need everything to be perfect for very long.

I just need that fraction of a second. So even if you’re convinced your kids won’t cooperate during family photos, what you experience during the session and what I see through my camera can be two very different things.

And Yes, Teenagers Can Be Their Own Kind of Interesting

It’s usually parents of toddlers and young children who worry about cooperation, but older kids aren’t completely off the hook.

I have teenagers of my own, so I’m pretty familiar with this stage too.

If your teenager isn’t exactly thrilled about family photos, that’s okay.

We’ll keep things fun, easy, and moving. I’ll get the photographs we need without making the experience feel endless.

They don’t have to suddenly become enthusiastic about family portraits.

They just need to give me a little time.

We’ll get our pretty pictures and move on.

The Biggest Mistake Parents Make During Family Photos

The biggest mistake I see isn’t something the kids do.

It’s parents worrying that their children aren’t behaving properly.

They are.

I promise.

Your children don’t have to behave a certain way for me to photograph them beautifully.

After more than 20 years of doing this, I’m pretty good at reading kids. I can tell when they need a change, when they need to play, when a shy child needs to stay close to Mom, and when a toddler has just about had enough.

So relax.

Play with your children. Hold them. Tickle them. Chase them. Laugh with them.

Let me worry about everything else.

What If My Kids Won’t Cooperate During Family Photos? They Don’t Have To.

If you’re putting off family photos because you’re worried about how your kids will behave, I hope this takes some of that pressure away.

Your toddler can be wiggly.

Your preschooler can be shy.

Your older child can be silly.

Your teenager can wish they were somewhere else.

We can work with all of it.

Your kids don’t have to perform for my camera. They don’t have to sit perfectly still or smile on command.

They just need to show up as themselves.

I’ll take care of the rest.

And chances are, when we’re finished, you’ll be surprised by how much fun everyone had.

---

Frequently Asked Questions About Kids and Family Photos

Ready for Family Photos Without the Pressure?

If you’ve been waiting to schedule family photos because you’re worried your kids won’t cooperate, you can cross that concern off your list.

Come ready to play with your kids and enjoy being together.

I’ll handle the rest.